After Christmas

It's been a different Christmas. Quite in keeping with the ruminations of my mind these past months, I suppose.
I'm not exactly sure what caused it to be different.
It's not the first time I haven't been around family for Christmas, although I've only missed about 3.
And it wasn't the first time I've been to a midnight Christmas Eve service (although I've only done a couple in my life).
And it's not the first time I was able to be out bringing people on the street some Christmas cheer.
It might have been the first time there were no colorful presents under my Christmas tree, but that kind of fits with the aforementioned ruminations, and wasn't a negative thing.

I think this Christmas has been more true to the heart of Christmas.
It may have started with taking time to think about Advent, the time of waiting and yearning. Thinking a bit more intentionally about what Christ's coming means.
Or maybe it started a couple months earlier when I did what little Christmas shopping I did do, so that I could bring stuff back to my family in Alberta when I went there in September (instead of mailing it in December). I really didn't spend a lot, although I tried to find gifts that had some kind of meaning. This took my mind off of shopping during December. Oh, I wandered through the malls a bit, but not with the harried look of a hapless shopper. So, subconsciously, I joined the Advent Conspiracy, or something along the same lines.

For several weeks we knew that our regular Friday night CARTS ministry would coincide with Christmas Day, so our planning took that into account. We wanted to make this week special, so extra treats were planned. A couple churches and a local ministry provided over 150 Christmas stockings to give out (filled with useful items, as well as some candy—which is useful in its own right). So, my thoughts for Christmas Day have been focused for several weeks on how we would serve, not on turkey, presents, or a party.
My personal life journey into caring about the street community has been growing for the past four years, so in some ways this Christmas has four year old roots.

The end result of these various threads has been:
--an intentional moving away from spending much money on gifts for people that are already blessed (not that they aren't loved, just that money went elsewhere).
--more time spent contemplating some of the deeper heart of the Christmas story.
--attending several church services that helped these meditations.
--being more present in some of the communities I am able to share in. Gaining more understanding of where the kingdom Jesus came to bring is intertwined with everyday life. Giving my time, attention, and assistance to some practical projects. Not because it is Christmas, but because it is right.
--being able to be a part of an awesome outpouring of love and generosity Christmas night to the 150 or so street people we were able to connect with. Realizing again how much fun it can be to give yourself as a gift (along with 35 other people who are doing the same thing).
--having several opportunities to hear people's stories. Some filled with pain, some with joy.
--enjoying a number of awesome friendships. Time spent together, ideas exchanged, passions shared, coffee ingested.
--Christmas has been so much more than just one day, even more than just one season. It has been both much more and much less than a couple warm moments in a cold, dark month. Because the spirit of the season is more entrenched in my spirit than ever, it was around before December, and will still be around when the decorations are packed away for another year.

-The people I love will still be around to share conversation with after Christmas.
-The people I can bless with a smile, a word, or some food will still need me after Christmas.
-The people who have something to teach me will still be talking after Christmas.
-The people who can learn from me will still be watching me after Christmas.

So, Christmas isn't really anything special, or at least shouldn't be. The love of Jesus is just as inspiring and unbelievable in March or October. Our response to that love is just as beneficial to others in the summer as it is in the winter. You can give something to a special friend any day, not just on Christmas Day.

If your understanding of the universe and the kingdom of God grew this Christmas, you don't need to let it slide back to its former level now that Christmas is past. If the fire is burning a little brighter, keep throwing on the wood. If you caught a new glimpse of where you fit in this crazy world, clean your glasses and look for even more insight.

Christmas memories 4

Christmas Eve

My ancestry is Swedish—I am proud of the fact that all four of my grandparents were born in Sweden, and immigrated to North America where they met, married, and raised their kids (my parents). So, a lot of the traditions at home came from the Old Country. Including celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve. Not that Christmas Day was ignored, but the festivities definitely started the evening before. Santa was never part of my upbringing, so the fact that we opened our gifts Christmas Eve did not conflict with when he might arrive.

I was privileged to have two families of relatives close by that we almost always got together with at Christmas (either Christmas Eve, or Christmas Day). One family was my aunt and uncle and cousins who were similar in age to my brothers and I. The other family was an older cousin with kids only a bit younger than me. So, we made a crew of about a dozen and a half.

The evening started, of course, with food. Swedish tradition called for a menu of rice and fish. (No, not at all in a Chinese style!) There was supposed to be one whole almond cooked in the rice. The person who ended up with the almond was supposed to have a year of good luck, or something like that.

As I said earlier, I grew up on a farm. Cows to milk, chores to do. So, after supper (the evening meal was never called dinner—that was the noon meal), the cows had to be milked. For us young'uns, it seemed to take forever.

Finally, Dad would come in from the barn, clean up, and we were one step closer to PRESENTS!

Then was the reading of the Christmas story from the Bible. It seemed that most of the Old Testament prophecies were included in what felt like a 5 hour scripture marathon. Actually, it was probably about 10 minutes, but it seemed like we would hit the Easter story before it was finished.

Then the patriarchal prayer. I realize now how blessed I was to have that kind of upbringing, but at the time it seemed to take FOREVER!

Then the gifts. Finally. Wonderful surprises, even in a setting where money was never plentiful. Funny thing is, I never remember feeling that I suffered. There was always lots of food, gallons of love, and no shortage of fun. Yes, there were the gifts of clothing, and other 'useful' things, but plenty of toys as well. I remember a chemistry set (with a volcano that never had enough 'oomph' to actually blow its top). Lots of board games like Monopoly or Clue or Careers. If there was a new one, the whole family would be playing it soon.

Jig saw puzzles spread over the table (only to be covered by a tablecloth for Christmas dinner the next day). And more food. Popcorn balls, mandarin oranges, fudge, fruitcake, lefse, pepparkakor and much more. Isn't it funny how food ends up being involved in all of our wonderful memories!



I have to take a moment to talk about pepparkakor. They are these Swedish cookies—quite spicy, rolled thin and baked until completely crispy. They MUST be cut into holiday shapes, and are best eaten by dunking in hot chocolate or coffee. A definite staple in any homemade Christmas cookie arsenal.
(By the way, the pictures are much more recent than most of these memories, and include my Mother, sister, and nieces, and show that the family addiction to jig puzzles has not been rehabilitated.)

Christmas memories 3

Christmas tree
I grew up on a farm, and Dad had planted 3 rows of spruce trees parallel to the road near our yard as a shelterbelt. The idea was that when the trees grew bigger than the 12 inches they started out as, they would stop the snow from drifting onto the road.

Well, it took a few years, but the trees became tall enough that we could lop the top off of one of them and bring it inside. Over the next few years the tree would grow a new top. For many years, we only had to walk a few steps down to the road, and harvest our yearly Christmas tree. The biggest challenge was bringing a frozen tree that was almost as wide as it was high through the door. Not as exciting as the stories of heading out into the forest with an axe, but it worked well for us. Those trees are now as tall as the power lines, so they are definitely doing the 'shelterbelt' thing well.



The decorations were an uncoordinated blend of stuff Mom had from her days as a child to whatever had been added over the years. The fragile glass balls, the unbreakable plastic ones, the bubble lights, and the angel at the top.

This was long before designer trees, fake trees or mini lights—but you can't beat the warmth of a 'real' tree with decorations that each tell a story of Christmases past.

Christmas memories 2

Community Choir


Small town, small churches, lots of reasons to cooperate. For many years as an older teen and into adulthood, the four churches in our community plus one next town over (and people who maybe didn't even go to church) formed a community choir. We always had one person who could play the piano well enough to learn new and/or difficult music, and pound out the notes for the gang to learn their respective parts. We usually had a person who was either good enough or could be roped into leading this motley crew. And there were usually about five of us who could read music. The rest learned by hearing the notes often enough, and together we had lots of fun. Some years we attempted something out of the ordinary, other times, a familiar selection of carols.

Part of the fun was singing in each others' churches sometime in December. There were times that we hit three churches in one morning. We were incredibly ecumenical in a time when that was rather unusual. The churches ran the gamut from Catholic to Anglican to United to Lutheran to Pentecostal.

Then we would perhaps have a concert for the community in the local community hall.
And we would often haul ourselves through blizzards to the senior citizens lodges in the area. It always seemed to be blizzard season just before Christmas. But we would bring our version of cheer to add to the entertainment the seniors would 'enjoy' during December. And lots of home baking to finish off the evening.

We often did the same kind of thing for Easter.

Christmas memories 1

Memory is a wonderful thing.
It tends to be selective—you remember the good things better than the bad things. Sure, bad things leave their mark, but we do tend to remember the pleasant things more than the painful ones.
I think a lot of what we as adults try to recapture in our Christmas celebrating is the joy and innocence of youth. We work hard (and sometimes fail) trying to recreate the warm fuzzies of when we were kids. But time goes on, situations change, and even the way we celebrate takes on new forms.
So, I hope you have some pleasant Christmas memories as you slide through another December, and perhaps have opportunities to relive some of the fun you remember as a kid.

This is the first post of a few Christmas memories. May they at least trigger some good ones of your own. And it's never too late to start making some new ones.

The Sunday School Christmas Program

Every fall, the Sunday School teachers would start planning for the yearly 'event'. Finding cute (hopefully meaningful) little recitations, and some sort of drama for the teenagers to perform. It would involve several weeks worth of practicing, before 'that night' (one of my Mother's pet peeves was the constant reference to what would or wouldn't happen 'that night'.) As a kid I remember helping make the candy bags to give out at the end of the evening—a brown bag half full of candy, peanuts, orange, and probably some homemade fudge. And don't forget the costumes—angels with lopsided halos, shepherds in over-sized bathrobes, and wise men with 'priceless' boxes wrapped in foil.

One of my lifelong memories involves a play that I was in as a teenager. One of the bits of action on stage involved another actor handing me a note. Now it didn't matter if anything was actually written on the paper, it was just a prop. However, one rehearsal the gal who was to hand me the note had written this silly little riddle on it before handing it to me: 'What happened when they threw oranges at the synagogue?' 'The Jews (juice) ran out.' Well, it probably wasn't all that funny, but it cracked me up, spoiling the seriousness of that particular moment. And I still remember it mumblty mumble years later.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

That's what the familiar Christmas song says, but is it?

Being the pessimistic sort of people we are, we have the idea that Christmas isn't such a wonderful time, that suicide rates go up at Christmas, and so on. A quick Google search, however, comes up with the following:

“Contrary to what many believe, the notion of increased depression during the Christmas season is a myth. Suicide rates actually decrease over the Holidays." (source)

“Although the papers presented show a mix of suicide and parasuicide statistics it is apparent that there is a general trend for such events to reduce in December and in particular around the days preceding Christmas day.” (source)

“It is important to note, however, that while suicide rates do not increase over the holiday season, depression rates do.” (source)

But, these reports and statistics don't help much if YOU are feeling down. It doesn't help much to tell yourself that you should be less inclined to feel bad, statistically. In fact, the stress of thinking you should be feeling better may well make you feel even worse.

So, if you are feeling 'blue' this Christmas, what should you do?

The Canadian Mental Health Association suggests:

“Loneliness, depression, feelings of loss, financial burdens, family conflicts, and alcohol abuse can intensify during the holidays.
“Here are the experts tips for coping!
-Plan ahead. Take time to identify your feelings about Christmas.
-Be realistic, look at what you can afford to give.
-Choose to celebrate with the people who make you feel positive and hopeful.
-Let go of your expectations & make time for what is important to you!”

Depending on your circumstances, some of these might work fairly well, but some may be beyond your control. For example, for a guy living on the street, separated from his family by distance, money and/or apathy, even points 2 and 3 are pretty much impossible. But all four points deserve consideration.

Plan ahead. Take time to identify your feelings about Christmas.
By all means, realize that you will be bombarded with particularly strong emotions at Christmas. If you have seen a pattern emerge in previous years, don't let it sneak up unannounced this year. If you figured out some coping strategies in previous years, bring them out early and put them in place before the dismalness sets in. As best as you can, analyze your feelings and see what is particularly noxious. Is it the absence of family? The loss of a family member (by death, divorce, or distance?) Is it unrealistic expectations of 'Peace on earth', love, joy, and all of the other 'warm fuzzies' in the Christmas songs you are bombarded with? Is it the stress of buying gifts, and then having to pay for them?
Once you know the specific things that hit you hardest, look for a way to bypass the negative, and replace with something positive (even if it is small). Missing your family? Fins someone else in the same boat, and do something special together. It doesn't have to be Christmas dinner, but maybe an opportunity to share a seasonal activity—skating, Christmas caroling, watching a movie, checking out the Christmas lights.

Be realistic, look at what you can afford to give.
If money is a big issue (and it probably is for most us), persuade yourself that you don't have to keep up with the Joneses. Or even your siblings or fellow employees. Think of something that particularly reflects your own nature and passions, and turn that into a gift. It might be baking or a creative craft. It might be a gift of snow shoveling or your undivided attention over a cup of coffee.
Perhaps you would much rather donate to a worthwhile cause in the name of the family members that you know really don't need anything. Shop at a used book store instead of Chapters. Don't knock yourself down because you can't spend the money you wish you could. There truly is no value in going into debt just to make the rest of the family think you can afford to spend hundreds or thousands of $$ on them. And it's not only people with limited incomes that are choosing to cut back their spending on gifts. Many people are re-thinking the whole consumer-centric version of Christmas, and choosing to celebrate in simpler, more personal ways. Advent Conspiracy

Choose to celebrate with the people who make you feel positive and hopeful.
This might mean you will have a very small celebration. You might be better off alone than with a group of people that tend to bring you down—and that might even include family. Again, perhaps you can find another person who needs the same kind of simple, unassuming, time together.

Let go of your expectations & make time for what is important to you!
Your celebration doesn't have to be anything that you don't want it to be. Don't want to be in a crowd of people? Then don't. Don't want to have to decorate, or bake, or get dressed up? Then don't! Do you like a nice hot cider and some conversation? Then that's what it should be. Want to watch a movie and have some popcorn? Then make that your Christmas celebration. Remembering past traditions is nice, but it is easy to expect that DOING the familiar thing will automatically bring the same warm feelings that you remember for times gone past. That isn't necessarily the case. Don't do something just to try to make yourself feel warm and tingly. Choose to do something just because you enjoy doing it, and as much as possible, choose to do it with the people you want to be with.

Let Christmas be an opportunity to be reminded of things like love, relationships, good friends. It might include reviving an old tradition, or perhaps starting a new one.

Read a familiar story—Luke 2 is certainly appropriate!
Or perhaps Dr. Suess
or Clement Moore
or Charles Dickens
or O. Henry (William Sydney Porter).

Join with a few other people and go caroling.


Find a special church service. Sneak in to the back row, and just sit and absorb. Sing if you want (or not). Pray if you want (or not). Talk to other people if you want (or not). But let the peaceful presence of the spirit of Jesus invade you.

Choose a charity endeavor, and help make Christmas special for someone else. (And don't forget about either the charity or the people they serve the rest of the year. Lots of people get involved just before Christmas, but the need usually continues all year.)

There is something special that happens inside you when you do something for someone else. You can call it the Spirit of Christmas, or get a bit more spiritual and recognize it as the Spirit of Jesus.
Either way, it is love. Plain and simple. Not necessarily easy, but not complicated. Give away something that means something to you. It doesn't have to involve money, or things. It might go deeper and involve a gift of your time, your energy, your heart.

You will probably discover, as many have before you: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive'. Or, as The Message puts it: 'You're far happier giving than getting. (Acts 20:35).

If you are facing the struggle of getting through another Christmas season intact, if you DON'T think Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, then step back a bit, choose to make it a bit better for someone else, and I'll bet yours will be a bit better too.

Don't demand that you feel all warm and fuzzy inside for every minute between now and Christmas Day. Choose to be content with an opportunity or two to bring a smile to someone's face. Wish someone a 'Merry Christmas'. Remember that we can have Peace on Earth—but it's going to take all of us working together.

To all my friends and enemies near and far,
May your Christmas have special moments of joy, and remember that there are more people that love you than you know!