Christ-like

I have the impression that being a 'Christian' means being like Christ. A 'little Christ'. A follower and imitator of him.

Of course, I could be wrong. Being a Christian may only mean adhering to a particular set of dogma, signing up to a list of beliefs.

But I hope not. I hope its' meaning is more outwardly observable than what is going on someone's head.

Perhaps something Jesus said will help: “This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples--when they see the love you have for each other.” (John 13:35)

Given that idea, I have a question.

Which of the following best fit the title of 'Christian'? Lots of people claim that title, others don't. But which ones (in your own estimation) actually seem to be living out the character of Christ? And why do you think so? What qualities in their lives point back to Jesus? Do you have other good examples? And why do we seem to have so many bad examples?

(My list is just to spur your imagination)

Billy Graham
Pat Robertson
Florence Nightingale
Gandhi
Jack Kevorkian
Oprah Winfrey
Benny Hinn
Any past or present Prime Ministers/Presidents or other leaders
Mother Teresa
Martin Luther King Jr.
the Buddha
Fred Phelps
Bono
Desmond Tutu
William and Catherine Booth
Albert Schweitzer
Adolf Hitler
Joyce Meyer
Che Guevara
Galileo Galilei
Sam Walton


And a final thought. Put your own name in that list. Do you think your life is headed in the right direction, or has it been sidetracked as it appears has happened in some of the people listed above?

For Darcy

I'm enjoying Mother's Day sitting in Beacon Hill Park. The fountain in the middle of the pond is fountaining, the frisbeetarians are exercising the freedom of their religion, a baseball game is in full swing (as are the mini golfers), and some kids are getting a kick out of a soccer ball.
Families are enjoying the beautiful day. Mom pushes the empty stroller while Dad gives junior a bird's-eye view of things from atop his shoulders. Grandma gets a wheelchair tour, and the dogs are investigating every tree and rock.
A mallard is preening itself at the water's edge (until Grandpa and grandson come too close).
It's all quite idyllic, a perfect setting for a family values photo shoot.


But my heart is back at the memorial service for Darcy a couple days ago. Perhaps his liver gave out, but that was only a passing comment. If true, it would be a logical sign of the decades of street life and alcohol.
At the service in his memory, a number of people testified that he had been their best friend—and that would be no exaggeration. He was that kind of guy. He partied hard and often, but he also loved with the same intensity. Loyal, generous, experienced, protective.
The last time I saw him was 4 weeks ago at CARTS. I didn't realize then that his days were numbered. Looking back now, I am grateful for all the conversations. Love given, love received. By both of us. He cared, he cried, he loved. And over the years, we connected often through CARTS.

As I process my thoughts, a few things come together.
--Not everyone has the same idyllic life I can see happening around me here in the park. Many people have more painful memories of their childhood than happy ones. Physical, verbal, emotional and/or sexual abuse, missing fathers, stressed out mothers.
--A kid learns how to cope, how to bury the pain. But it is always there. So the cycles of self-medication begin. Something to deaden the ache. Alcohol or drugs become medicine, not just party or mood enhancers.
--Even though the troubled one recognizes the physical and mental effects of his substance use, what is he to do? When he isn't at least partly buzzed, it just hurts too much. So, even if he enters a rehab program, the pain probably remains when he comes back home.
--As Dr. Gabor Maté notes, every hardcore addict he has ever worked with has experienced some trauma/stress in their early years. In Dr. Maté's experience, it is the long-term, ongoing treatment of love, acceptance and affirmation that heals the inner pain. Sure, miracles can happen, but those are beyond our control. What we can do is play that loving and affirming part.

When it is easy,
when it is hard.

When our friend can articulate his feelings clearly,
and when he is so messed up you can only sit with him, hug him, love him.

--I don 't know if this was Darcy's story or not. Our conversations never really went to that depth. I only know that several times he and I did share some deep moments. Love given by both. Love received by both.

You are now at peace, Darcy. The pain is over. Rest in the arms of the one who has always loved you, always held you.
And I will go forward, endeavoring to be the arms and heart of Jesus to others whose hearts are crying for hope, and love, and peace.

Can't see the forest

for the trees, or maybe the toothpicks, newspapers, turpentine, or other wood by-products.

There are a few major themes in the Bible. Things like redemption,
compassion, peace, justice, just to name a few. The 'forest' if you will.

It seems that over the centuries the church has got really good at
distilling, digging, mining for little nuggets (pardon the mixed metaphor) of truth.

But in so doing, we have forgotten the forest these little nuggets were taken from.

• Instead of compassion and affirmation, we have emphasized one or another definition of 'holiness' that isn't compassionate.
• Instead of justice for all, we have focussed on individual freedom, blessings, wealth, power, etc. And justice for all has turned into injustice for those who aren't the privileged few.
• Instead of God's desire to redeem even the worst, we are ready to consign them all to hell as we tell them: “I told you so, serves you right.”
• Instead of an active, present sense of the reign of God in this world, we have turned our back on the problems of today's world in order to plan only for eternity.
• Instead of a land where God's shalom permeates and brings resolution to conflict, we have invented 'just war', the Crusades, colonialism, and other 'Christian' ways of dealing with injustice.

To continue the forestry analogy, we have clear-cut the whole forest, and all we have to show for it is a little pile of dead branches and leaves, and a massive mansion.

Instead of an environment where all creatures can co-exist, we have an obscenely huge home for one of the creatures, and displaced everything else.

Can't see the beautiful, natural forest of compassion because the trees have been turned into instruments of hate, segregation and division.
The few trees that remain are hard to identify as the former glorious forest—but it still is the forest!

Just step back and regain the perspective of the big picture.

If we allow it, the forest will grow back.

God's kingdom is still a place of rest, hope, support, affirmation, encouragement, peace, joy, love, equality and redemption.

We just need to get back to looking at the forest instead of focusing on what we can make of the trees.

Someone else's musings

“We cannot say what we believe. We only do what we believe.” (emphasis mine)  Todd Littleton, commenting on Peter Rollins' post where he says:

“Without equivocation or hesitation I fully and completely admit that I deny the resurrection of Christ. This is something that anyone who knows me could tell you, and I am not afraid to say it publicly, no matter what some people may think…

I deny the resurrection of Christ every time I do not serve at the feet of the oppressed, each day that I turn my back on the poor; I deny the resurrection of Christ when I close my ears to the cries of the downtrodden and lend my support to an unjust and corrupt system.

However there are moments when I affirm that resurrection, few and far between as they are. I affirm it when I stand up for those who are forced to live on their knees, when I speak for those who have had their tongues torn out, when I cry for those who have no more tears left to shed.”

(I found this while surfing Jon @ who follows Daniel who posted this. Are you lost yet?)

I don't think any commentary is necessary. 

Real church

I was part of the gang that hosted a turkey dinner today for about 250+ members of our community. Not just those in need of a good meal, but everyday, normal people. It was particularly timed to be a New Years celebration, something different than the typical community turkey dinners that abound before Christmas, coming after the post-Christmas blahs have set in.
Just for a bit of background: 4 years ago our community heard about something that had started in another BC city called Love Your City. The basic premise is to get Christians out of the church, and into the community, doing good things, giving away stuff, no strings attached. Free car washes, hot dogs, or bottled water. Doing yard work. Hosting a kids party in the park. Fun stuff! And here's the better part—it's a group of about 6 or so churches of all stripes, the mix of what is in our community. It's Christians working together, playing together, being a loving, generous, presence of the God we serve. Did you catch the together part? It's not my church vs. your church, but The church.
We've done 4 summer events, and this was our 3rd New Years celebration dinner. The pastors and congregations are really getting used to doing things together.
So, here we were. People roasting turkeys and bringing them ready to serve. Mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, veggies, all the fun stuff! Face painting, coloring contests, play dough, beads, and whatever else for the kids—and prizes and gifts for all. Table hosts making sure our guests were treated well. The churches had spent the last few months collecting the ingredients of a nice food hamper for almost every family, complete with reuseable grocery bag. There were special door prizes. And there was music. That's where I came in. No, I didn't sing, but got to set up and operate the sound equipment for the guitar/violin duo (anything from a couple jigs to some more romantic stuff), and a jazz vocal/guitar duo. She has a voice like velvet, like warm chocolate pudding (if you love chocolate pudding like I do!). We tried to make it fun, special, and community-based. Most of the churches involved are doing something for a follow-up—a marriage enrichment series, a discussion series on Is God Real?, a video series on understanding Christianity. But there was no pressure to sign up, just a friendly offer of ways we can bless you.
So, we had about 250 or more guests from the community, and probably close to 100 volunteers—setting up, hospitality, serving, cleaning, etc. And it was a blast! Hours and hours of planning had gone into it, with the benefit of a couple years experience and wisdom. Everyone worked harder than they should have, and yet I'll bet that most of us aren't so much tired as incredibly blessed.
And here's where it hits me: Today was church. Real church. Out where we are supposed to be. Doing the kind of things we can all do. Forgetting about the theologies that might divide us. Not trying to be high pressure salesmen.
And tomorrow is Sunday. When I have to go to church. Which won't be as real as today was. Oh, it's a fine group of people, and all that, but it's more artificial. We put on our Sunday best, polish up our smiles and do all the churchy stuff. But it doesn't really do a thing for the community. Not like today did. The thing that is going to bring the people in our community closer to a relationship with the God who really loves them is going to be a turkey dinner more than it is going to be a finely crafted worship service or sermon.
But I guess I'll go to church anyway!

Doxis and praxis

A particular blog (jesusmanifesto.com) uses these two terms as broad subject headings.
Praxis you can find in a dictionary. “practice, as distinguished from theory; application or use, as of knowledge or skills.”
Doxis is more elusive.
Given the definition of praxis, one can assume that doxis is related to orthodoxy, and has something to do with theory or doctrine—the concept of the thought behind the action.

You could fight that one is more important than the other. Perhaps you could say that the underlying reason for something is the most necessary. That you have to have a valid, logical foundation, a good argument for something to make it valid. That as long as you believe right, everything is good.
Or you could say that talk is cheap, the most important thing is the action. That even if your theology is messed up, if you actually live out kindness and generosity, that is what is ultimately important.

You could swing to one extreme or the other. You could say you believe in the equality of all humanity, but still act like a racist. Or you could be an atheist, and still do the kind of things Jesus did (love the poor, feed the hungry, help those in need). I'm glad I don't have to be God, and decide where a person's heart is.
My take is that both doxis and praxis are necessary.
A simple understanding of the heart and intent of God for His creation.
And a simple following through in a lifestyle of daily living out that understanding.

Simple, but it will take a lifetime to get it down.

What do they think of us?

Yes, I guess it's us vs. them.
In this case, it's about 'us' (people of the Christian faith) and 'them' (people not of the Christian faith).
I have heard stories. Horror stories, some of them. Stories about kids and young adults who grew up in 'Christian homes'. You may wonder why I put that phrase in quotes. I suppose it's because I question how true to Christ those homes were, given the results. Oh, I know we aren't perfect--not even me!
But if our actions, attitudes and responses drive our kids 180 degrees away from God, I think something is fishy.
The Biblical concept of 'training up a child' can work either way.
It can reinforce faith.
Or it can so totally mangle it that the person runs away kicking and screaming abominable curses at God, family, church, and anything else that was supposed to be a good influence.

I've had someone tell me that if he had known I was a Christian before he got to know me, he wouldn't have gotten to know me. But I established a friendship based on friendship (what a concept!), not based on being preachy. Even now, I seldom even give him much advice, unless I think he might be open to it. Let alone tell him to repent.
Another guy told me I wasn't like most other Christians he had met. In the context of the rest of the conversation, I took that as a supreme compliment. I actually listened to him. I heard his views. Even his negative ones about Christianity. I tended to agree with lots of them. I am becoming a believer in what Jim (of 'Jim & Casper go to church') calls defending the space. Allowing people the room to think, to discuss, to be heard. In this era we are privileged to live in, that is more important than defending the faith.

And just a few minutes ago I ran into this paragraph in a local blog:

"Before I go any further I must be responsible to you. I should make a full disclosure of my own bias: I am pro-Christian. It is a noble creed, both as the root of Western Culture and as a route into spiritual self-development and community power. I even admire certain facets of Church life. I believe that if we strip away the liars, dogmatists, masochists, red-neck authoritarians, shameless theologians, and political opportunists, that the remaining half-a-dozen Christians will definitely be among the most sublime and vital human beings to have ever lived. So I am definitely biased in favor of a deeply organic & aesthetically profound Christianity."

So that is what some people think of us.
Some of them want to stone us.
Or ignore us.
But some want to be our friends (if we can truly be a friend).
Some would love to talk to us (if we shut up enough to listen).
Some actually want to help us clean up our act (get rid of the lies, dogmatism, masochism, red-neckism, etc.) and let the character of Christ be visible.

You might say you don't care what people think about you. That you aren't here to please people, put to please God.
Well, that sounds good, but in reality it usually becomes an excuse to be an (expletive deleted for those with sensitive eyes).
I figure we owe it to our neighbor to be neighborly. It's what Christ would do.
Look back at the things people seem to be willing to do with us, if we aren't being total jerks--be a friend, talk with us, help us become like Christ (sublime and vital).
Sounds like a good plan.

Sophie

I have this friend named Sophie. Well, more like acquaintance growing into friend. You know how relationships take time to grow.
When I first met her, she tended to be kind of nervous around me. You could tell that she wanted to connect, but there are some things in her past that make it hard for her to trust people. I don't know the whole story, but my guess is she has suffered some abuse, and she seems to struggle with trusting men.
But she wants to.
She doesn't want to stay in that inner prison of fear.
Food and unconditional love seem to be what is overcoming the barriers. If I am giving away some kind of snack, she makes sure she isn't left out.
Often I wish it wasn't taking so long to grow this friendship. Sometimes I almost feel like giving up, that it isn't going to happen. But I persevere. Trying not to expect too much, and then happy when it looks like things are improving. Little by little, I can tell that she trusts me now. I am beginning to see signs that she isn't so nervous around me.
Now she comes close, laying her wet furry nose on my knee, enjoying being tickled behind her ears.
You see, Sophie is a dog. A real nice dog, but it has taken a couple years to get to this stage in our friendship. She doesn't bark at me nearly as much as she used to.
I'm sure you see the point I am making. Sophie isn't that different from many of the people I meet on the street.
Some pain in their past.
Nervous about trusting again.
But still wanting to be loved.
Food and unconditional love go a long way with people, just like they do with dogs.

End vs. means

I got to thinking about something after reading something about the Religious right in the US. (Also quoted in Peter J. Walker's blog emergingchristian.)
Here's the setup: Everything we do has some kind of reason for doing it. It can be an end it itself, or a means to a different end. I can read a book because I enjoy reading, or as part of my research for a specific project. I can eat an orange because I like oranges, or because I need the vitamin C. I can have a conversation with you because I like people, or because I want to turn the conversation into an opportunity to persuade you about something.
It is this third example that segues into my conundrum. As a Christian, why do I do good things for other people?
Do I have ulterior motives?
Assuming I do (we all do, more often than not, I think), are these motives legitimate?
Do I carry on a conversation with someone for the sheer pleasure of the interaction, or am I only looking for a way to turn that conversation into a chance to preach at them?
Do I give someone a cup of cold water because they are thirsty, or so they will have to listen to my sermon?
Do I toss a loonie at a panhandler because I care, or because it gives me an 'in' to find out if I should lecture them on the evils of whatever terrible habit I discover they are guilty of?

Is grace an end in itself, or just a means to ultimately be ungracious?

I think Cal Thomas raises a very important point, but I don't think his conclusion is necessarily Christ-like. Here is what he says on the subject:

"If results are what conservative Evangelicals want, they already have a model. It is contained in the life and commands of Jesus of Nazareth. Suppose millions of conservative Evangelicals engaged in an old and proven type of radical behavior. Suppose they followed the admonition of Jesus to "love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit those in prison and care for widows and orphans," not as ends, as so many liberals do by using government, but as a means of demonstrating God's love for the whole person in order that people might seek Him?"

If I understand him correctly, he is saying:
1. Conservative Evangelicals don't follow Christ's admonition to love your enemies, etc. (I'm afraid that is way too true, but this isn't the time to discuss it!)
2. 'Liberals' do often follow that admonition, but only as an end in itself. In other words, doing kind, loving, forgiving things because it is the right thing to do. (I assume that he thinks that is just not a good enough reason.)
3. Because it could be good for the bottom line (number of people in church, people added to the kingdom) CE's should start following Jesus' example. As a means to an end, it would be a good time to start being nice to your enemies.

As I type those words, I feel a real inner pain. Mostly because I see that it is true. I come from a CE history. Feeding the hungry, loving ones enemies and all of the rest of that statement was considered the (gasp!) 'social gospel', usually spoken with an underlying kind of disdain--at least that's how I perceived it.
And now, as I talk with people terribly wounded by Christians at some point in their past (either in a specific encounter, or the general CE response to some aspect of their lifestyle), I see that the stereotypical CE isn't living up to the example and admonition of Christ. Either as an end, or a means to an end. I suppose that is why Thomas is encouraging at least some movement forward in this regard.

But is that the point?
And I see that that question is a big one. For me, let alone anyone else.
Is my sole purpose as a Christian to bring others into relationship with God? Of course that is good and worthwhile. Of course it is a goal.
But is just being loving for the sake of being loving not appropriate? If I don't see any hope of 'results', does that allow me to revert to being a jerk?
If my only purpose is to 'convert', my attitude will be different, my style will be different, and I will end up with my own trail of people totally turned off of God because of me.
I don't think that is what God has in mind.
I think being loving and compassionate may well draw someone closer to the One who really loves them
But it may not. They may never respond.
But I still can and should and must have compassion.

What's the worst that can happen?

(With much thanks to Peter Walker for a comment on one of my posts, and the awesome series of Meeting House videos)

What is the worst that could happen if we started living and loving like Jesus? If we actually started building relationships with 'the least of these' that Jesus calls us to?
Mat 25:40 “Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me--you did it to me.'”
There are lots of people that could fit into that 'overlooked or ignored' group. The qualifications vary for each of us. Perhaps one of the various sub-cultures I talked about in my post on culture:
--the pierced and tattooed
--the homeless
--the gays, the prostitutes, the addicted
--the punks, the emos, the goths
--the hardcore, the straightedge, the headbangers
--the non-whites, the non-English, the non-American
You know the person you are most likely to walk past on the street, trying not to make eye contact.

But what is the worst that could happen if you actually made a friend with one of 'those kind of people'?

Peter Walker challenged me with the question, particularly referring to being a friend of a gay person: “what if someone thinks I'm 'one of them?!?'” (Realizing that many Christians treat gays like the biggest scourge on the earth)
That's the kind of worry we might have, that's one of the worst-case scenarios we might be worried about.
So, let's confront our fears, and dream up some more of the 'What's the worst that could happen?' screenplays in our minds.

In many cases, I think we are worried about being tarred with the same brush, treated as part of the same group. Whether it is a gay person, a prostitute or someone on drugs, we are worried that our lily-white reputation might be tarnished. We might lose our friends, we might not be looked up to any more.
It happened to Jesus, so don't be too surprised if you get treated in a similar fashion.
Mat 9:10 Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew's house with his close followers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them.
Mat 9:11 When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus' followers. "What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riff-raff?"
We are a lot more worried about how we feel than with how they feel.
So really, our fear is that we will be treated like Jesus was treated—looked down on, talked about. If that is more important to us than loving them, we are missing the whole point.

Maybe you are worried about catching something from a homeless person—some terrible disease, or lice, or actually having to touch them, or caring enough to take them for a meal. Well, it wouldn't be any worse than they deal with all day long. Do you think they enjoy not having easy access to a shower or clean clothes? Do you think they really like suffering with a cold that just won't go away all winter long?

What about hanging around people with different musical tastes than you, having different political views than you, or dressing in a very different style than you? Are you worried that they might actually affect how you think about things? That you might change your political views or perception of society? That you might discover that the 'Christian' way you were taught to see life might not be completely accurate? That you might have to admit that you really don't completely understand an issue, and need to think about it some more? That you might have to admit your dogmatic view needs to be changed? That they might actually be (Gasp!) 'right', and you are (Double Gasp!!) 'wrong'?
You might even begin to understand why they have issues with society/adults/Christians.

It has become so easy to assume that our culture is the best one, the only one. That we have figured out the best way to do things. That 'the Canadian (or American) Way' is God's way. That any teaching about anything is from us to them (whoever you perceive them to be at the moment). We honestly don't think other cultures can show us anything of value. This tends to be as true about other national cultures as the sub-cultures around us. Do we see how arrogant that really is? Can we see how much beauty and wisdom we are missing?

So, the worst that could happen as we begin to treat people as Jesus would, as we are friends with people different than ourselves:
--we might see how it feels to be treated as a second-class member of society
--we might be treated like Jesus was treated
--we might get our hands dirty
--we might have our minds expanded
--we might experience life and beauty from the broader perspective of more than just our own culture.

We might start looking more like Jesus.

Shootings in Colorado

Language warning (particularly some of the links)--but that isn't really the biggest issue here. A much more important concern is that:

• there are people who hurt so bad that a shooting spree seems to be the only solution,
  
• a person's mind and spirit can be so blinded that they truly believe the things they say and write, and
  
• far too many people hear the message coming from us as Christians as: ".........God hates...... ........do this, don't do that......." Instead of hearing: "I love you. God loves you. How can I help?"
  

As you read this, PLEASE don't let yourself get angry at Matthew. Somehow, we as (supposedly) the family of God didn't communicate God's love as strongly as we communicated His holiness. It looks like here was one young man in a lot of pain, and his response was similar to other similar tragedies. Somehow the enemy of truth, beauty, and love is able to make someone believe his lies, and the result is a lot more pain. Makes us realize how messed up the world is, and how much we need God's love and peace to deliver all of us.

Many of you know that I am on staff with Youth With A Mission (YWAM) in Victoria, BC. This is the same Christian missions organization that suffered the loss of two staff members in the Colorado shootings on Sunday, December 9th.

You can see some articles on the main YWAM website, linked from the main page. As well, here are a couple more links: Denver Post 1 and Denver Post 2. It appears that the gunman had been a student at a YWAM Discipleship Training School back in 2002 at the same YWAM location, but for some kind of health reasons was not allowed to complete the school.

If you have read any of my postings, you may realize that a big chunk of my heart is trying to demonstrate the love of God to those who need it. It seems that so many people are receiving a negative, condemning message from the church as a whole, and from us as Christians individually.

A few quotes from the Denver Post:

"A message posted between the Youth With a Mission shooting in Arvada on Sunday, Dec. 9 and the New Life Church shooting in Colorado Springs is believed to be Matthew Murray's last posting. It contains language which many may find objectionable.

"... (It) copies from a manifesto written by Columbine killer Eric Harris before the 1999 high school massacre. Matthew J. Murray, 24, who police say carried out attacks at the Youth With a Mission dormitory in Arvada and New Life Church in Colorado Springs, left behind final words that are rearranged but otherwise largely word-for-word the same as Harris' writings. Some expletives from the Harris version were replaced by Murray with symbols."

• "You christians brought this on yourselves
• "All I want to do is kill and injure as many of you ... as I can especially Christians who are to blame for most of the problems in the world.
• "From now on I don't give a @#%$ about what all you mutha fuckers have to say, unless I respect you which is highly unlikely, but for those of you who do happen to know me and know that I respect you, may peace be with you and don't be in my line of fire"

And a quote from: KMGH Denver

"DENVER -- Web site postings that authorities believe were the work of shooter Matthew Murray paint a picture of a young man angry at his religious home schooling and finding release in rock music.

"Nghtmrchld26 had been posting to the site for at least 11 months, ranting against conservative religious organizations."

• "I remember how it was like every day was Mission Impossible trying to keep the rules or not get caught.
  
• "The way I see it, why should we allow some Pentecostal charlatan "prophet," or church or group such as C. Peter Wagner or YWAM/King's Kids Denver or other self-appointed "source of Truth" like Bill Gothard to dictate who's going to hell and who's not and who's accepted and who's out casted?," he wrote Oct. 6. "I remember growing up in pentecostalism/evangelicalism, we were always told to support republicans/conservatives and to hate those evil satanic democrats. Jesus never said to put trust in any political leaders."

Let me repeat what I said earlier: As you read this, PLEASE don't let yourself get angry at Matthew. Somehow, we as (supposedly) the family of God didn't communicate God's love as strongly as we communicated His holiness.

I think the big issues now are:

• to pray for the gunman's family, the victim's families, the YWAM staff, the church family and anyone else connected with the tragedy.
• to decide again to live our lives towards everyone based on the love of God.
  
• to pray for and actually demonstrate God's love and acceptance towards those who are in such pain that they strike out in violence.
  

Lowered Expectations

I ride the bus. A lot. Sometimes it seems like I'm on it way too much. I suppose that realization comes when I see some riders pretty much acting like the bus is their personal taxi. No one else matters.

They sit right up front where the seats are intended for people with mobility problems, or baby strollers, and have to be told to move, or just sit there while someone unsteady on their feet has to carefully work their way back to an empty seat.

Or they slouch all over 2 seats, and still have enough body left to hang out half way across the aisle. Or they sit in the aisle seat, when there is no one in the window seat, and people end up standing because they are too polite to ask the person to move over. Or they don't offer their seat to someone who needs it worse than they do.

And then there's the phone calls. Oh, those phone calls! At least you usually only hear one side of the conversation. One side is definitely enough! It's worse when it's two friends together on the bus discussing ..... Well, if you've been there, you know the kinds of things they are discussing!

And that's only on the bus!

So, I think I have a solution. Lower my expectations. Don't expect young men to act like gentlemen. Don't expect the young women to act like ladies. (Oh, I know that sounds like an old guy complaining about the kids these days, but you tell me it isn't true!) So, if I don't expect decent behavior from people, then I won't be disappointed. If I don't expect people to speak English with proper grammar, or write it with correct spelling, then it won't bug me if they miss the mark a little. If I don't expect basic body grooming, I won't complain about the smell. If I don't expect others to have standards, then it won't come as a shock if they don't.

I think there is value in this philosophy. I probably would be more willing to accept people as they are with this attitude of lowered expectations. I'd be more likely to cut them some slack when they don't live up to 'my' pre-conceived notions. If I realized that they are just fellow humans, fallen from grace, I'd be treating them the way I often want to be treated. No, I'm not quite perfect, and I know I don't live up to your expectations all of the time.

I kind of think that is what grace is all about. Cutting someone some slack. Recognizing that we are all human. Humans in need of Someone bigger than us to lift us up, to change us, to transform us. I am totally dependent on grace. So are you! So, it's appropriate that I endeavor to walk in grace toward others as much as I hope they (and God) will walk in grace toward me.

I have just started to read Gregory Boyd's Repenting of Religion. I think it will be along the same lines. The sub-title of the book is Turning from Judgment to the Love of God. Not figuring out all of the ways that you aren't perfect, but loving you outrageously. Not so much loving you anyway, but loving you because. Because God does. Outrageously.

Dignity and affirmation

It started with Social Insurance Numbers and Account Numbers. It seemed so much better to use numbers to identify us instead of our names. Instead of dozens of John Smiths in the country, now there is only one 123 456 789. So much more efficient. So much more impersonal. So de-humanizing. (I'm not sure where the whole identity theft issue enters in, since it requires both names and numbers.)

People have been decrying the loss of individuality for years, to no avail. I was watching a brief promotional video for a certain street ministry, and they touched on dignity. Now there is something that is missing in the whole number ID style of dealing with each other. But it's also missing in many other interactions we have have with people. It's so easy to just stick to business, to take care of the matter at hand, and not take the extra time to see how the other guy is doing. We are all so busy—lineups, busy signals, call waiting, voice mail, etc. If you stopped to ask the bank teller how his day was going, the guy behind you would be put out. If you stop to discuss the present political situation with the cashier as you buy groceries, the nice lady in line behind you will be looking daggers at your back. We hardly even talk about the weather any more!

But the realization that started hitting me was regarding the Friday night street ministry I am part of (CARTS). “But”, you will say, “That is all about people, it must be personal, it has to be touching people.”

True, but it is easier than you think to start treating individuals as just part of the whole crowd. Forgetting that they are unique. That they deserve you undivided attention, even if it is for a short time. Taking the time to listen, to encourage, to affirm.

Affirmation. That's another part of the story. If we only knew how many of the people we see each day think they are inferior, deficient, secondary, lacking in some way. Not as good looking, or smart, or coordinated than everyone else. Not as rich, or famous, or important. Not loved, not valued, not appreciated.

I expect this situation is bad enough in the 'general population', let alone among those who find themselves on the fringes of society. The more I hear the stories of people on the street, the more I recognize the broad scope of reasons for them being on the street. You certainly can't generalize, but for many of them, they come from a difficult homelife, job history, or health situation. Too many of us have been told we are hopeless, stupid, unteachable. Shouldn't have been born. Useless to society. Good for nothing. How many kids didn't fit into their parents hopes and expectations, and so moved or were kicked out?

When we pause to think about it, we can see value in all of God's children. Weren't we all made in His image? Even people who are mentally ill, criminals or queer (in any definition) deserve respect as human beings. They may not see life the same way we do, but is that wrong? It may be a challenge to be with them, but does that give us the right to snub them? Even if they smell, flail or cuss, they are still loved by God. (Remember the story of the 99 sheep? The shepherd left them to find the lost one. In other words, he acted more loving to the wayward one than the 99 well-behaved “normal” ones.)

So, how do we truly affirm people, show them the dignity that God does?

Well, what makes you feel wanted, respected, acknowledged? “Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them.” Matt. 7:12 The Message

• Take the time to talk. More importantly, take the time to listen. Probably shut-up lots and talk little.

• Look the guy in the eye when you are talking to him. Give him your undivided attention.

• Recognize his right to his opinion, even if it is diametrically opposed to yours. Honestly seek to learn from what he has to say.

• Love without conditions.

• Look beyond the cothes, hairstyle, persona. Accept them as they are, without an agenda of planning on changing them into a duplicate of yourself.

• Have compassion, and let it show. Not some fake crocodile tears, but honest emotions. Most people can see right through your counterfeit smile. Be real.

• Each person you meet is different. Don't categorize and stereo-type.

I wish I found it easier to live up to this ideal. I wish I wasn't so prone to ignore the druggies, the drunks, the forsaken. I wish I was a brighter light. I wish I would stop wishing and start doing.

I think I will.

Bye.

They'll know we are Christians by our...

So, I'm walking down a busy sidewalk, and the thought hits me: I wonder which of these people are Christians? How can I tell? It's not a really strategic question, but shouldn't there be something different about us? “Let your light shine” and all that?

Muslims, Buddhist monks, skinheads, all have pretty visible distinguishing features.

Maybe Christians should have a dress code? Ill-fitting dark suit, white shirt with a skinny tie, or a long dark non-revealing dress for the womenfolk?

How about a halo? That would be a good identifying mark.

Or how about a t-shirt that says it all--”I'm a blood-bought, sanctified, conservative evangelical Christian. You should be too, or you're headed for hell”. Now that should bring everyone to their knees in repentance. I'm being more than a bit facetious, in case you didn't notice.

No, the rest of the 'Let your light shine' verse says 'so they will see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven'. As I was still walking down the sidewalk contemplating this whole idea, I saw a much better message on a t-shirt: “My t-shirt likes your t-shirt”. That starts getting to the heart of good works—truly liking people. Choosing for their higher good instead of your own is a good start to actually making a difference.

It seems so easy just to think about myself, doing what will get me ahead in the rat race. You see it everywhere. (Now it's time for my rant.) No common courtesy, no thought of how my actions affect someone else. Walking (or biking or driving) like I own the whole sidewalk, and the street as well. Carrying on my phone conversations as if everyone else wanted to hear about my ongoing relationship problems. Making everyone else 'enjoy' my taste in music.

Chances are, if we as followers of Christ started being more Christ-like—well, What a Wonderful World it Would Be! At least the little chunk of the universe right around us. In other words:

John 13:35 This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples--when they see the love you have for each other." Not just love for others who believe as you do, but love for everyone.

Try it sometime! Then you won't have to go out and buy the “I'm a blood-bought...” t-shirt.